Yesterday was the blog’s 2nd anniversary, and I had a crappy day.
I felt obligated to force the gratitude out, for all the things I’ve learned, all the ways I’ve grown, all the wonderful souls and talents I’ve come across, all the joys I’ve had, thanks to this blog. And I will come to that, because that’s real and true.
I read a piece by Tina Payne Bryson’s piece on the parenting of hall of shame, and the fact that while we all sometimes lose it and have awful parenting moments, but remain silent about it, never sharing these times with other parents. Yet this happens to all of us, and bringing it out in the open is sometimes the acknowledgement we need to move on.
Yesterday, the morning plans got screwy, my mind was set on the negative switch, and thinking of this anniversary reminded me of all the things I haven’t found the time to do, the irregularity of my posting schedule as of late, all my shortcomings. Sitting at my laptop to write this post, I found myself browsing other blogs, comparing myself and feeling like everyone else was so much better than I am. A bit later, I started making a summer fruit crostata. I insulted my dough, my rolling pin and my cutting board, got frustrated with sticky dough, and felt just so incompetent and discouraged. It was one of those days. To be ok with those days.
T’is a new morning. Two years (and a day) ago, I planted a seed with this blog. It was part of an effort to reclaim my life, to listen to myself, find my voice.
There’s been sun and warmth, drizzles, downpours, fog and mud, frosts and storms, burning droughts and blizzards since then.
That seed has sprouted, grown, at its nonlinear pace, and is now showing some buds. The prospect of writing a book, of giving consultations, of teaching workshops. The prospect of a whole new direction.
“It’s not just about creativity, it’s about the person you’re becoming while you’re creating.” Charlie Peacock (Thanks to Janet Lansbury for sharing this inspiring quote on FB)
So the blog is where it is, I do my best and will keep at it. But most importantly, I am grateful for the personal growth it has allowed, the internal doors it has opened. The practices it has encouraged me to turn into habits, foundations: taking time in, acknowledging, balancing out in order write; seeing and looking for beauty, learning from others in order to photograph; being in the moment, connected, creating opportunities for connection (to loved ones, to the natural world) and well-being, opportunities for community too, while cooking and enjoying meals of real food.
The integration of these elements have become consistent pillars of my life for the past two years. How thankful I am for that.
I am equally thankful for your loyalty and support, coming back to this space, for your comments, questions and feedback. Whenever my words resonate with you in some way, whenever this blog can be a resource, can be helpful or motivating, it is deeply gratifying and fulfilling.
Now this salad… was the result of a strange sense-storming. I found these lovely purple asparagus in Seattle. A few days after I returned, I used a few to make an asparagus tart, which we had with a lovely lavender sauerkraut from Brassica & Brine. I guess it was a flavor and color connection… Asparagus salad, lavender dressing.
I have grown to love the flavor of lavender, lovely in dessert (do you remember the peach lavender custard from a couple of summers ago?), but also in savory dishes. And as our herb and vegetable garden has been thriving, especially our shiso bush, I’ve been putting shiso in all kinds of salads. Pablo munches on it straight from the plan! The subtle but powerful aura of shiso and lavender seem to open up the senses somehow…